Tag Archives: motherhood

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

6 Jan

I have been sick since Christmas day. That, my dears, is almost 2 weeks…14 days of feeling like caca. I’m going to the doc in a little while, so we’ll see what he says but I’m ready to do a headectomy or maybe even a neckectomy. Sure, I wouldn’t be much fun to be around but I betcha I’d finally feel better!

Sean left yesterday and I was one of those girls that cried when he walked out the door. How sad is that? It’s not like he’ll be gone for a long time, just until Sunday and I even have plans myself it just hit me though. It seems like since we moved we’ve been so distant from each other. Stressing about the move, new job, finances, kids being sick, all of the family being sick and then the holidays have just taken a toll on us as a couple right now. When he gets home we WILL find a sitter, he’s already been asking around his coworkers if they know anyone, and we WILL go on a date. Y’all, I haven’t had a date with my husband in years and that’s not an exaggeration, it’s the honest truth. I miss him and I miss adult time. I miss eating without a kid throwing food or screaming. I miss sitting at a table that isn’t huge. I miss going to see a non-kid movie and holding hands in the theater. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids 110% (usually) and would die without them but I need time to connect with the person that gave me those kids. I totally believe that spending time away from them will make me a better mom.

Anyway, enough whining. I’m headed to the doc in a bit. Then this weekend I’m going to have FUN!

A friend

3 Jan

I have a friend whom I met almost 10 years ago, yet I’ve only ever seen her in person two times. We met on an online message board about pregnancy and infant loss. I was mourning the loss of Avery and wasn’t sure where to turn or what to do or how to think or…well, you get the idea, I was lost. In some sick way it was a comfort reading about these other ladies that were going through something similar to what I was, see; I wasn’t the only one dealing with this.

I’m not sure what made me read her story but I felt a blow to my gut when I read her story. Her full term son was born with an umbilical cord issue (I won’t even try to explain it), he lived for a few days and died in his mother’s arms. I felt so sorry for her that she and her hubby had to decide to disconnect life support for their son. I felt that she was going through something so much worse than I was. I sat and wondered what would be easier; a stillborn whom you never get to see alive or a full term baby who is a live for days (weeks, months) and you have to decide when the “right” time to say goodbye is.

The first time we met we sat up drinking, laughing and bawling by a hotel pool. We had this instant connection, something all the other mommy’s there with us couldn’t understand. I told her how I felt, how awful I felt for her. We hugged and cried and laughed and drank some more. She told me later something that I’ll never forget;

It does not matter how long you know your child; if you see them breathing, if they talk to you or if you feel them in your womb, they are still your child and it still hurts like hell when they leave.

So true.

So, here’s to Corbyn, my friend’s baby boy. He would be 10 years old today. You’ve touched more lives than you know and I thank you. Now, enjoy your birthday cake with Avery and Jackson for me.

I need toddler sized safety gear

6 Nov

I swear, this boy is gonna be the death of me. Sure, Kenna fell, tripped and got bumps and bruises but NEVER did she need to be taken to the ER or make me worry if she’s got a concussion.

First off on Halloween, we were trick-or-treating and having a grand old time. Sean was letting Jay run around and Jay tripped. He cried, even when Sean picked him up which is a little unusual. But the fall didn’t look that bad, he did have his hand stuck inside his costume so he couldn’t break his fall. But after a few minutes he stopped crying and went to the next house.

We get home and I get Jay into his PJs and notice something on his tooth. I figured it was a hair or something. NOPE…Jaylon broke his tooth! His front top tooth, all the way in half. I have no clue how it was still attached. So, we loaded up and went to the ER. They did nothing, not even contact the on call dentist. They just referred us to a local pediatric dentist and sent us on our merry way.

As soon as they opened on Monday morning I called and they had us come in, saying we may have to wait for a bit. Luckily we didn’t have to, they got us in in about 10 minutes! They did a quick x-ray and the dentist came in and took a look. Then looked at the xray again, then took another look. Decided that his teeth looked great but that one was broken all the way through horizontally AND broken vertically in the back, so it had to come out. He thought about sedating him if he needed more work done but since this was his only problem decided to just numb him up and pull it.

See, here’s the deal, I don’t do teeth. Let me just say that again…I DON’T DO TEETH! When I was younger my mom pulled a bottom tooth that was NOT supposed to come out yet, thinking it was the super wiggly one. I trace my tooth-aversion to that day, since I was like 6-7 and totally remember everything she said/did!  UGH…

I explained to the doc that I just can’t handle teeth but I’d stay in there if I could. He laughed and said that was fine and walked me through what needed to be done. As soon as the first shot happened and Jay screamed like I’ve never heard him scream and the blood started…I about hurled. The doc looked at me (I’m now white as a sheet, nauseated and tearing up) and laughed and said “why don’t you just wait out there, I don’t want to fix one of your teeth after you pass out”. Then said the nicest thing…”no one will think you’re a bad mom if you leave him with us. He’s in good hands, I will treat him like he’s my son.” UGH, made me cry more.

5 minutes later Jay came out bloodied all to hell. He was laughing and playing with the nurses until he saw me, then he cried! LOL…little shit would not leave the gauze in, so he bled everywhere.

Turns out the tooth was cracked all the way up inside his gums to his nerve. I’m glad the doc decided it needed to be pulled.

Fast forward to today. I leave to go get dinner because I never cook on Saturdays, don’t ask, just something that we always do.  So, Kenna and I leave to get the food. When we get home Jay is pissy, which is normal for him because he hasn’t eaten yet and OMG, it’s already 5:30, where is my dinner woman? He’s pretty fussy through all of dinner time. I see a new bruise on his forehead and Sean tells me he fell outside. Nothing new there. I swear the boy can’t walk 5 steps without tripping over himself. I didn’t really freak out until I was cleaning him up and notice the marble sized bump on his head. UGH…so I pick him up and love on him a little. I get his PJs on and milk and we cuddle. He’s acting fine but now I’ll worry all night that he’s got a concussion! LOL

I’m not sure if I’m just overly paranoid because he’s my boy and he really wasn’t even supposed to be here, or maybe I know that while all children are miracles, he truly is one…I dunno but I freak every time the kid hurts himself, which is usually every 30 minutes or so. Sean is annoyed by it, I’m sure he thinks I’m making Jay a wus and maybe I am…but SERIOUSLY…a head injury! LOL I know, I know, I am being way too protective, hell even with Kenna I’m different (see: Are you bleeding? No. Then you’re fine.)

Anyway, I will need every sort of insurance you can get on someone. I have a feeling by the time Jay is grown and we’re not responsible for medical bills any more and he will start to pay his own, we’ll have paid enough to actually OWN the hospital!

Here’s Jay now, btw. It’s the best pic I can get of him since it’s impossible to get him to stop and let me take a pic.

Guess what this is?

19 Oct

A blog post! Can you even believe it?

Well, you shouldn’t. I was going to sit and blog like a good girl but just don’t have the energy right now. In the past 2 wks we’ve moved, cleaned the hell out of a nasty house, tried to get out of the “I’m moving into a house I don’t like” funk, drove 5 hrs to my sister (yeah!), then drove another 3 hrs to scrapbook all weekend, scrapbooked all weekend, drank wine like I was in a race to see who would finish the bottle first, nursed a hangover the next day while riding 3 hrs back to Sis’ house, then woke up the next day and drove another 5 hrs back home. I’m now back in the routine of mommy-hood, cleaning house and being a housewife and you know what…I’M EXHAUSTED.

I promise a real post this week, I need to catch you up on all the goings on from the past 2 wks; the fun stuff, the not-so-fun stuff and the REALLY shitty stuff.

 

A fortnight

23 Sep

Wow, can you believe it’s not a scrapbook related post? LOL

Anyway, I’ve been so consumed with the move lately that I haven’t had much time to blog. Good news is that the house is on the market and the sign is in the front. I really hope it rents before we move. That way I know there’s no “lag” time and the house isn’t empty for long after we’re gone. Plus then we’ll have the money coming in to cover our mortgage/rent. It sucks keeping the house “show ready” though. The house is clean it’s just that Jay is a little tornado. So, no matter how many times a day I clean up his toys it’s always messy. Hopefully the realtor will give me enough notice to run through and pick up toys before a showing (she’s supposed to).

We found our house in the new town. It’s a cute little house. It’s supposed to be bigger than ours now but it just doesn’t seem like it. I’m sure it has to do with the layout of the house and it doesn’t have the great room we do here but it’ll do nicely for us. I will miss our living room here, our fireplace (yeah, even though we haven’t used it) and just the WOW factor you get when you walk into our house now. But the new place is quite cozy. The laundry room is massive and will not only be the laundry room but also our office and homework room too (yes, it’s HUGE).  Another bummer is our room is close to the kids, we don’t have that split floorplan so we’re not on the other side of the house. The reason this kinda sucks is obvious; I’ll have to be quiet now! HA! (Yeah yeah…my parents read the blog but I’m pretty sure they know we have sex)  I’m looking forward to the move, moving is a great way to start fresh. Get rid of all the old crap around the house, old clothes that don’t fit (did I say HELLO 14′s!) and purge it all. I hate packing but love throwing away a bunch of bullshit stuff we’ve kept for a few years. Kenna’s totally excited because she gets a new big bed. She’s been sleeping on the same mattress since we got her a big girl bed so she really needed it, and it just happened that Ma and Chris got a new bed so they have their old queen set. Jaylon just liked running through the new house when it was empty and screaming in every room because of the echo, he’s still clueless as to what’s going to happen in 2 weeks.

All the utilities have been scheduled for turn on or off, moving truck is reserved and help is coming. 2 more weeks!

Yeah, that was me!

9 Sep

* Note, if you’re looking for the giveaway of Persnickety goodness, go here!

So yeah, that was me at the Wal-Marts in the shirt I wore to bed last night.

Yeah, that was me with the greasy pony tail’d hair that hasn’t been washed since yesterday.

Oh and that was me who kept pulling my panties out of my tush because of the gigantic queen sized matress pad I am wearing today (thanks Auntie Flo).

And you can guarantee that that was me giving gift-giving advice to a woman in the toy isle while MY kid was screaming and had green snot running down his face.

That lady wandering around the Wal-Marts for 4o minutes (because her son’s prescription for a double-ear infection was being filled) talking on the phone about 2 month expired ham…sure that was me too.

If you saw me and didn’t say hi…I don’t blame you. But ya know what? At least I brushed my teeth and put on a bra, thankyouverymuch!

Overheard at the Pate casa

30 Jul

Having 2 kids, a dog and a husband, you overhear a lot of strange things in our house. It’s funny really, somethings I never thought I’d say come flying from my mouth pretty much every day.

  • Be nice to your wee-hee
  • Stop throwing shoes at your brother
  • You stink, time to clean your tushie-wushie
  • Do NOT eat that
  • Oh, God, please tell me that’s dirt
  • I smell shit, honey, sniff his tush
  • Dude, the blob that the spoon made looks exactly like Shakespeare

I’ve added a pic of Shakespeare. OH and no worries, I’ve washed the stove since taking this pic! HA!

Yeah, you just never know what you’re going to hear here!

I’m walkin

18 Jun

Well, he’s not really walking just yet.  He’s close and he’s loving walking behind a toy that Aunt Shell got him for Christmas. And so what if I was bored and feeling “crafty” the other night, this is what happens when I do (turn on your speakers, yo!):

I’M WALKIN’

And again, because WP is mean and won’t let us upload a video without paying an arm and a leg, you gotta go to Flickr and watch it there. Enjoy, watch it a few times, laugh because I do when I watch…I’m not sure if it’s the fact that he’s so proud of himself or it’s the music I chose but it just makes me giggle!

Tap, tap, tap…anyone here?

14 May

Ok, should I be upset that even though I haven’t posted in how long again…my stats are actually better?! LMAO!  That shit ain’t right.

Well, by request of Pinkknotes I’m blogging for the first time in sooooooo long!  Damn I love that gal and the funny thing is I’ve never met her! She started with a simple blog comment and our relationships has blossomed into a freaky-kinky-love-fest!  Ha! You really should follow both of us on twitter and you’ll see how we talk about sex toys and awesome things that begin with “p” and end with “enis” and having a threesome.  Oh yeah…we’re freaky like that! (BTW, the threesome was for photography lessons, not sex but the other stuff was totally sexually related!).

Oh yeah, my blog post…well I have a new “job”.  I use the term loosely because at this point it so does not feel like a job.  I’m now an Independent Wine Consultant! It’s rockin’ because I basically take wine to my host’s house and bring the wine country to them!  I get to meet other people in my area, get to get away from my kids (yes I just said that) and I get to make some money in the mean time.  Not to mention that I also get wine and I HAVE to drink it as a part of my “research” and it’s tax-deductible! HA!  I mean, seriously, it doesn’t get any better!  If you haven’t looked head to HeyWineLady.com and see what I can offer you.  Now the bad part is we can only ship to certain states, so be sure we can ship to you before you order.  I can come to your home and have a tasting if you live in the San Antonio/Austin/Houston area.  I’m even going to have a tasting in the Amarillo area for my mom (and all her Catholic friends, you know how they like wine!…and yes I just said that too).  I think I’ll make a few hundred every month until I get going and then the chance to make even more is there too.  Not too bad really, especially for something that I enjoy and I don’t need to have a sitter!  By the way we also have a wine club (who doesn’t like wine delivered to their door every month), personalized wine labels and gift baskets!  Seriously, check it out…NOW!

I had to get a new computer (YEAH!).  My old one died like I’ve never seen a computer die before.  So we bit the bullet and purchased a new one…I want to sleep with it and sniff the yummy electronic smell.  Yeah, yeah, yeah…you know new electronics smell good! I love it…it’s so fast and shiny and it doesn’t ever “not respond”!  Ooohhh…what did I ever do before.

I’d hate to overwhelm y’all with a crazy long post after being gone for so long so I’ll leave y’all wanting more!  Oooh, wait…as of today I’m down 15.5lbs!  It’s coming off way slower than I want and at the pace I’m on now I’ll hit my goal by this time next year!  But I do have arm muscles…not just flab that just waves when I do.  I still haven’t found my abs, they’re under a layer of fat still hanging on but I have found a HUGE lump of scar tissue from my c-section that hurts but that’s for another blog post! HA!

Arg, there be a pirate party!

20 Apr

Man oh man, was this weekend a great one!? 

Jaylon’s first birthday party was on Saturday at his Gramma’s house.  It was wonderful! 

The weekend kicked off on Friday, sitting on the back porch with family, a few glasses of wine and grilled out hamburgers.  Laughter, talking, gossip, laughter, catching up on family, and did I mention laughter and wine?  It was such a beautiful evening and a perfect Friday night if you ask me.  Jay didn’t go to sleep until 10-ish then we drove to my mother-in-law’s house where he was finally put in bed and asleep for good at 11:30.  He usually goes to bed at 6, so yeah, cranky butt!

Saturday was spent getting ready for the party.  My mom is the most amazing person ever and my stepdad, well, he’s just as amazing.  They came over and took a good 3 hrs or so putting the cakes together.  These cakes….AWE-SOME! But we’ll get to those in a minute.  The party began at 4 and we gave Jay his smashable cake.  He just looked at it.  We sang “Happy Birthday” to him (and as a side-note, I didn’t even cry, thankyouverymuch!) and he almost broke his neck to turn around to see what all the fuss was about!

Mom had to show him what to do with the cake and he just picked at it.  Finally got a little piece of chocolate icing and ate it right up.  He never took a hunk out of the cake or even smashed it…just kept picking at it eating little flecks of icing.  He is not my child!

Ma finally gave him a hunk of it and he grabbed it and put it all in his mouth.  I’m still not sure how he didn’t choke but he managed to get it all down.  We did take his shirt off him before the cake and I’m glad we did.  He rubbed the icing all over his belly…it was cute!

We had to leave after the cake since my Sis and brother-in-law had to leave.  We ate dinner and came back to the house to open presents.  The boy racked up and is still enjoying all the new toys.  He’s not sure what to play with first and just crawls from all the goodies.

Even with the lack of sleep he had that day he was such a good baby.  He was happy, he enjoyed playing with all the cousins and Kenna enjoyed helping open the presents!

Now, let’s discuss these cakes.  The first one, the smashable one, was a treasure chest; complete with jewels, coins and gold!  Talk about adorable and perfect for his individual cake!

Ahem…THE cake.  I am always in awe of my mom’s abilities especially when it comes to making cakes.  She’s made cakes since I can remember, only doing them for friends and family. She always says that you couldn’t pay her enough to make them professionally but she so could do it!  This cake was the pirate ship complete with the Captain and his crew.  She even made a damn parrot, people!  Each pirate was moulded after the cousins.  Jay was the Captain then you’ll see my nephew, Brett; Kenna; my nephew, Braden; and my niece, Breanna.  The wood on the ship looked like wood.  The sails were amazing, she even downloaded font that looked “pirate-ish” to write Happy Birthday on it.  And there’s even a freakin’ shark in the water!

I can’t believe that my baby’s 1st birthday party was this weekend with his big day tomorrow.  I’ll write about his actual birthday tomorrow…and cry, so I’ll be sure to have tissues by the computer!  Until then, enjoy the pics!








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